1994

 

The year 1994, I was suppose to graduate from High school, but I was lacking “History” credits. I sucked at reading and there was no way I could work, go to school and memorize three chapters of history each week. I didn’t even have enough credits to walk the stage.

That year was also my last suicide attempt. I was living in a one bedroom apartment in North Kansas City, Mo and I was just so depressed about everything in my life.  I was miserable. So one day I overdosed on drugs and alcohol to just do myself in. I barely remember it, but I do remember Sharese cumming to the apartment and I would not let her in. She was crouched outside the door in the hall way crying and pleading for me to let her in. I was sitting on the floor on the other side of the door, fading in and out.

The next thing I know, I was having an out of body experience. I was in the hospital with all these people standing around me while I was laying on this bed with tubs and wires sticking out of me. My medical doctor, my shrink and my mother were there. What I remember was, my doctor for some reason was slapping me in my face. I got angry and went back into my body and I guess that’s when I woke up.

According to my Ex wife I was clinically dead, but I was more like in a comma. I don’t remember anything after that until after they took me to the mental hospital. I vaguely even remember that, but I remember Sharese came to visit me on a regular basis. I know she loved me, but I just couldn’t handle her Bipolar; she was making me crazy along with her. I took the ring back and told her I would give it back to her when I felt she deserved it. Maybe I was kind of an ass, but it was a $1500 ring and I was still making payments on it.

After I got out of the mental hospital, I jumped in my Dodge Ram, loaded up my cat Reba and took a trip to the family cabins in the Ozarks. On the way down; I was cornering Dead Mans Curve maybe a little too fast. It was dark and much to my surprise, there were deer in the road. I tried to miss the deer, hit the ditch and rolled my pickup truck.

Reba and I was OK, but when the cop showed up; he thought I was messed up because I was walking the grass calling out for Reba. I finally found her and got her to the squad car, he was worried she would pee in his car; but I think I had already scared the piss out of her. After everything was over, he took Reba and I to the cabin and we waited there for my family to come and help me out.

A bunch of people came down; we flipped the truck over, through the windshield in the back, topped off the oil and convoyed back to Kansas City. That was an interesting drive. The truck still ran great, just needed a bungee cord to hold the driver side door close; but that was it! Come winter I screwed plexiglass to the frame, silicone it from the outside and put insulating foam in the inside.

That fall is when I met Sarah, my oldest sons mother…

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