2012 was a mess of a year for me… Around April 1st, I got a psychic impresion on my computer. I saw this guys face in my computer and I saw red; then voices in my head said, “Watch this guy”. I am not all that psychic, but I knew I was enough psychic that I should pay attention to the message.

Next thing I knew, this same guy was friends with Mary on FaceBook; they were co-workers. Then after that, hers and my fighting got worse. I knew something was seriously wrong when she wanted to fight with me for over 30 minutes over freaking laundry detergent. I got home as fast as I could.

When I got home, my Virgo’s were working in overdrive; I was like Shurlock Homes. I knew she was hiding because every time she was on the phone around me texting, she would turn it to a degree she know I couldn’t see what was going on. But I saw what was going on. Then when I wasn’t in the room and came into the room; she would jump off the phone and give me the deer in the headlight look.

Before this, we had total transparency for the most part. There were some things were we had our privacy and private places, but very few. Now the tables had turned and the transparency was very few and far between. This all happened within about two to three weeks.

I said something to my mother about my suspicions and she was like, “I thought something was going on between them two but I didn’t know for sure so I kept my mouth shut”. My mother was the one who got her that job. I don’t recall if this was before or after my conversation with my mother; but one night I woke up to go to the bathroom in the middle of the night and the voices were talking to me again, “Look in the phone”… So I did.

I lost all motor functions and fell to the ground immediately; there it was right there at the top of her texts, everything. I had to craw to the bathroom so I could sit on the stool and investigate; I could not compel myself to read everything, but I red enough to make me sick. I put the phone back expactly as it was before and eventually went back to sleep. The next day; I was on the net and in her computer doing more homework on this situation.

I was so devastated that I couldn’t even have sex with her anymore, I had ED for months after this happened. She kept saying she loved me and that she was sorry, but I didn’t believe her.

I must have been somewhere between shock and denial; because then next month on her birthday I let her talk me into upgrading her phone, buying her all kinds of workout cloths and equipment to go workout and play with him. I also spent a few hounded dollars on her and the kids in other ways like getting the kids new bikes. I still to this day (2015) can not read nor want nothing to do with the “50 shades of Gray” because that was the book they were reading together and I know that’s not all they were doing.

She had gotten a membership to the YMCA to go work out, but months before she had a fit when I had mentioned it. One day in taking the kids to the Y, I lost it. The only time they had ever seen me cry was during tear jerkers in movies. They didn’t know how to act because I just started crying uncontrollably. I pretty much cried off and on that whole day. That was when I think the shakes started, it was like I was consistently having mini seizures. Mary and the kids were worried about me and Mary wanted to take me to the hospital, but I just wanted to be alone.

My denial lasted till about June, before I had turn the house into a duplex and so I told her I would not kick her out. She and the kids lived in the upper larger half, and I lived in the bottom. Then while cleaning the bedroom which was ours, I found the condom wrapper and that took me out of my denial.  I barely could eat, I lost about 40 lbs. over night.

Later I paper trailed everything I could find from emails to FaceBook, her computer and other datelines where she was looking for another woman to have a threesome with her and him. I was soo messed up in my head I couldn’t focus and had to go get on four anti depressants. Originally two, but ended up on four; two natural and two pharmaceutical. I was on these for a little over a year before I felt safe enough to start winging myself off of them.

2013 & 2014 wasn’t much better.